March 3, 2010 - The recession has had an impact on just about every sector of the U.S. economy, and weddings have been no different. A recent study conducted by My Wedding Workbook among brides getting married in 2010 shows that the recession has had an impact on two-thirds of all brides when it comes to their wedding spending. But has it actually caused the size of weddings to shrink?

According to research conducted by The Knot, the average wedding size for 2008 and 2009 has hovered around 149 people, with the average wedding spend over $28,000 and the average number of bridesmaids at 5 and groomsmen at 5.

But what a difference a year makes. 70.7% of 2010 brides are having fewer than 150 guests to their wedding, with almost half (44.5%) having fewer than 100 guests. And two-thirds of brides (64.9%) are having 4 or fewer bridesmaids, while two-thirds of grooms (65.6%) are having 4 or fewer groomsmen.

In fact, of the brides surveyed, almost half (45.5%) stated that they have scaled back on the number of guests that will be attending their wedding. So the size of weddings has actually declined. But what this tells us is that couples are focused on maintaining the quality of their wedding and devoting the resources they have into creating the day of their dreams.

And what about that average wedding budget of $28,000 in 2009? Of this year's brides, only 7.4% have said they will spend more than $30,000, with a shocking 71.4% intending on spending less than $20,000. To save money, many brides are making their own decorations, invitations and other wedding items, while others are taking a more low-key route with BBQs and potlucks instead of surf-and-turf and white linens. But, despite cutting back, couples are still getting married, and brides are still dreaming big, and that's as it should be.

March 3, 2010 - Some of us are blessed with many friends, which is great if you get a flat tire and need someone to come pick you up. But when it comes to planning the guest list for your wedding, it can almost seem like a hindrance. 44.5% of brides say their wedding will have fewer than 100 guests, and 70.7% are inviting no more than 150 guests. If you're working on a limited budget and just can't invite everyone, these tips are for you.

• I recently heard a friend say that she's not inviting anyone to her wedding that she wouldn't have over to her house for dinner. I thought this was great advice! Whether it's co-workers, customers, or that girl you run into tanning all the time, some people (even if you see them everyday) just aren't that close to you!

• Speaking of not being that close to you, how often to you really talk to all 500 of your friends on Facebook? We know you're excited, but Facebook may not be the most tactful way to announce your engagement.

• Be strong! You're going to have to put your foot down sometimes, and that's okay. Though they love you, parents are often guilty of mistaking your wedding for a place to invite their friends and brag about you. It's a gesture of love, and they want to show off your happiness, but if you've never met the friends they're trying to invite it's not inappropriate of you to say no. A nice way to avoid this confrontation is to give a set number of invitations to both sides' parents and leave it at that.

• It's nice to be able to invite your single friends and add "and guest," but sometimes it's just not realistic. If you're only inviting them, make it clear on the invitation. Simply write their name for them on the RSVP card. That way it will be obvious that the invite was only for them. In the end it's your event, and you can invite (or not invite) who ever you want. If you decide not to allow single guests a +1 make sure that decision applies to all single guests. It's tacky to allow some guests a +1 and others not.

• Even if someone invited you to their wedding, you don't have to reciprocate that invitation. More than anything, you should be comfortable and have fun at your wedding. You shouldn't be worried about everyone else who's there. On that note, cut down your bar tab and potential for disaster by cutting heavy drinkers from your list.

• Kids too, can be cut from the list if necessary. Although most weddings incorporate children, if your wedding is late at night, or has a more cocktail theme, there is nothing wrong with cutting kids under 12, or even 18 if you're so inclined.

• There are lots of people who seem important in your life right now, but think of these relationships in terms of their longevity. Have these people been in your life for a while? Were they influential in you and your fiancés' relationship? Will they still be in your life in 5 years? If the answer is no, reconsider including them on your list. Your wedding is not a social occasion; it's a special, sacred even to share with the people you love.

March 1, 2010 - The quote for food and beverages at your wedding takes up a hefty portion of the entire bill, but you can actually control these costs by going with some particular styles and themes. Most people are sick of the same old chicken/beef with a starch and a vegetable. Consider switching to some of these more unique options that will save you money...

Hors d'oeuvres Wedding
Replacing a formal meal with hors d'oeuvres is great for a more laid back setting, allowing people to move around and mingle. This type of wedding can quickly add up if you don't do your research, but there are a lot of great options that will actually cost significantly less than a plated meal. For instance, mini quiches, meatballs on toothpicks, quesadilla wedges, spinach dip with crackers, vegetables with dip, chicken skewers, bruschetta and pigs in a blanket. However, seafood appetizers like mini crabcakes and shrimp cocktail will cost you!

Italian Family Style
This intimate style wedding allows each table to feel like they're sitting down to a family meal. Pastas, bread and salad are brought out to each table and your guests will pass everything around. This type of meal should be just around $20 per head. You could also have a variety of pastas at a buffet and call it a "pasta bar" for sampling various types. This is also a great type of wedding for putting out a bottle of red and white at each table and cut back on the other alcohol.

Barbeque Wedding
This type of wedding is great for outdoor settings in the summer. The meat is pulled pork, accompanied by pasta/potato salad and marinated vegetables or green salad and rolls. This theme should be just around $20 per head as well, and is pleasantly different from the typical wedding spread. It is also a great decorational accent to have the pig on the spit going (unless you have a lot of vegetarians)!

Bar Ideas
There are a number of ways to save on the bar tab. The first and most obvious would be to limit your options to a few types of beer and a red and a white wine. Also, serving your beer from kegs into nice cups will be less expensive than bottles. The next step would be to limit liquor by having a specific signature drink- think about your personalities and the theme of the wedding. Great signature drinks include margaritas on the rocks, baybreezes, spiked iced tea/ lemonade and sangria. Think outside the box and have fun with it!

Kerry McCullough is the owner of Maryland Budget Wise Weddings, a website that helps brides on a budget to plan an affordable wedding in the Maryland area. After planning her own wedding a year and a half ago, Kerry realized how challenging it can be to create a memorable event that doesn't break the bank. Her website features affordable local vendors, a budget calculator, tricks and tips, articles, local bridal shows, a timeline, and bride-to-bride advice. http://www.budgetwiseweddingmd.com

For more general ideas on planning budget friendly weddings, visit her blog: http://www.budgetwisewedding.blogspot.com

February 22, 2010 - Ever wonder if you can have a mismatched number of bridal party members? Results of a survey done by My Wedding Workbook shows that brides can and do!

My Wedding Workbook found that 21.1% of brides said they plan to have four bridesmaids, and 20.4% said they'll have four groomsmen. Correspondingly, 16.2% said they'll have five groomsmen, and 15.3% five bridesmaids.

Difference in number was slight, which indicates that most mismatching brides are usually only one or two people off from having correlating numbers of aisle mates. The mismatched bridesmaid to groomsmen ratio that proved most popular was 5:4. Symmetrical bridal parties are still the most popular, but brides are definitely stepping out of the box.

February 15, 2010 - The new year has arrived, and this year's brides have offered up what they are looking for when it comes to planning their wedding. My Wedding Workbook compiled research from across the Internet, and what we found were some interesting preferences among brides in putting together their big day. Here are just a few of the trends that we uncovered.

• Colored shoes
Forget plain white pumps, wear something with a little more zing! Make your shoes your something blue, or match your bridesmaids' dresses. If you're wearing a long gown your shoes probably won't be seen more than a few times anyway, so you might as well have fun with them! It's also a great way to reuse if you invest in shoes that you'll wear again after the wedding!

• Time capsules
I am such a fan of this trend. You can create a time capsule yourself, or you can ask guests to bring a little something to add to it as an addition/alternative to your guest book! How amazing would it be to have that to look back at on your 20th anniversary!

• Neutral bridesmaids dresses
Neutral colors like beige are very pretty options for bridesmaids' dresses. In the past, it's been a major faux pas to have the bridesmaids in anything related to white, but that restriction is slowly going away. A soft champagne color never goes out of style, so as long as there is enough contrast between your dress and theirs, we say go for it!

• Day-after photo shoots
I'm actually a huge fan of this trend. Doing a day after photo shoot for your and your new hubby is a great idea to get great pictures of you two as a couple. Lots of couples are using these photo shoots to get more relaxed, fun photos rather than the super-posed pictures from the wedding day.

• Long Tables
Long tables are not only elegant, they can save you money as well. With a long table you can use fewer centerpieces, and it creates a more inclusive atmosphere for your guests. Depending on your venue, they can also be great space savers.

• Birdcage vales
These super-elegant accessories are more of an exceptional hairpiece than an actual veil. The term birdcage actually refers to the shape of the veil rather than the material. A birdcage veil usually falls about chin length, but modern styles have gotten shorter falling beneath the eyes or asymmetrically across the face. The birdcage veil is very fashion forward with a vintage feel.

• Tea length wedding gowns
Once again, this is a vintage inspired trend straight out of the 1950's. These fun gowns are great for more casual weddings, or even as a reception dress. And, if you have an awesome pair of shoes you want to show off, these tea-length gowns are for you!

• Candy/Desert Buffets
The desert buffet table has been popular throughout certain regions of the country for a while, but its now spreading everywhere. Do a little research on the Internet about how to set up a stellar candy buffet; there are some really neat ideas out there. There are so many different colors and types of candy that a buffet will definitely add an interesting visual to your reception.

• Black and White Photography
Classic. Color pictures are great too, but black and white is so classy! Vintage themes work great with black and white photography. The most important thing is to find the right photographer. Look at several portfolios before making your decision.

• Smaller weddings
Intimate wedding are on the rise. Certainly the economy has something to do with brides scaling back, but the movement towards a more sustainable culture has influenced wedding sizes as well. Reuse, reduce, and recycle is many a brides motto these days, and we hope that this trend will last long after 2010.

• Everything vintage
Vintage is really just a euphemism for old, so there's no real guideline for a "vintage wedding." Usually vintage clothing is considered to incorporate styles from the 1920's to the 1980's. The vintage trend is perhaps inspired by a move toward environmental sustainability, but most "vintage" clothes are simply vintage inspired rather than actually second hand. If you have the time to shop around some thrift stores, using vintage pieces in your wedding is a great way to save money on your big day.

• Eco-friendly weddings
On the vintage note, there is a growing "green movement" happening in the wedding industry. "Reduce, reuse and recycle" is quickly becoming the wedding motto for environmentally conscious brides in 2010.

• Tungsten Rings
Tungsten rings have been increasing in popularity lately. Tungsten is extremely hard, and it's virtually scratch proof. It's most popular for men's wedding bands because of its weightiness, but women's rings are available as well. While shopping for Tungsten rings, make sure that it's tungsten carbide, otherwise you'll be getting a very hard, but not scratch-proof ring. Also make sure that there is no Cobalt in your ring. Cobalt has a negative reaction to your skin and can damage your ring.

19. Railway/train theme-
Investigate local railroads. Are there any historic railroad stations in your area? In some cases, you can rent out an entire car for your event! Railway museums are an alternative venue as well. Wood whistles are a fun favor, and you can have your wedding date or names carved into them. Set up toy trains around your reception, or use miniature toy trains as centerpieces. There are cute train place card holders. If you want to go more western with your train theme visit here for ideas. Watch old western movies for inspiration, and let your imagination wander!

20. Historic theme-
Wherever you are, there are probably some historic sites around you! Check out which ones are available as venues and build your theme around your chosen location. A historic theme is a great idea for a destination wedding as well. Some fun time periods include: Victorian, Edwardian, American Colonial, the roaring '20's, Ancient Greece or Rome, The Tudor (Elizabethan) age, or the Middle Ages.

Hopefully you've at least gotten some ideas! I'd love to hear any other interesting wedding themes that you've come across!

16. Masquerade theme-
A masquerade theme is fun and elegant. Deep colors and jewel tones like red, emerald and black work well with this theme, and roses are a perfect flower. There are plenty of places to find masks online. I recommend House of Masquerades for masks with an elegant touch. You can find masks with sequins, feathers, lace, and so on. A baroque venue sets an amazing atmosphere for a formal masquerade wedding. Or if you're leaning towards an outdoor wedding, tents with dim lighting set a romantic tone. Great centerpieces could be anything from vases filled with ostrich feathers to crystal candelabras. The richer-looking the better. Place card holders made out of wine corks are a neat idea for this theme, and you can easily find them online. I also love these wine goblet card holders from Beau-coup.com. The food should be rich and elegant: finger sandwiches, marinated olives, stuffed mushrooms, meat and cheese trays etc.

17. Herb theme-
Decorating with various herbs is a great idea for a spring wedding and isn't overly flowery. Talk to your florist for recommendations, and do some research on the meaning of individual herbs. For a short list visit Plants Bulbs. Make sure, once you've picked your herbs that the scents mix well together. For centerpieces, consider using potted fresh herbs, and send them home with guests. Sage greens, pale yellows and lavender are fun colors for an herbal theme. Give pretty packages of herbal teas as favors. Use baby-potted herbs as place holders; just write the name on a popsicle stick, place it in the plant and you've got cute, eco-friendly place holders! Plus, fresh herbs smell fantastic!

18. Aquatic theme-
Whether you're having your wedding at an aquarium or at the beach, there are a ton of things you can do with an aquatic theme. Have centerpieces with beta fish and give them to guests as favors. Shells and starfish are always fun to decorate with, and bubbles (if not overused) can be really beautiful. If you're up for something fun, have everyone RSVP with their shoe size, and get personalized flip-flops as favors! Custom Logo Flip Flops has an awesome selection of styles, and my personal favorite, eco-friendly flip-flops made from 100% recycled rubber! Shell place card holders are fun, and make sure not to forget to incorporate pearls for an elegant touch!

13. Famous couples theme-
There are so many couples! This is another theme that could go many ways. For a more serious tone consider couples like Romeo and Juliet. Or, for something more lighthearted fictitious couples like Tarzan and Jane, Wilma and Fred Flintstone, or Minnie and Mickie Mouse may be appropriate. Another avenue could be famous movie couples. Pictures or posters of old romantic movies will provide a dreamy ambiance.

14. Fleur De Lis theme-
The fleur-de-lis is a stylized lily, so if you've got lilies in your wedding, these classy little symbols will fit in nicely. It's a historically French symbol, but appears in many other countries as well. The fleur-de-lis is also considered religious, symbolizing the holy trinity and in some cases the Virgin Mary. Fleur-de-lis favors are very easy to find, and there's a lot that you can do with them. They make elegant place card holders, and they can be printed on pretty much anything as favors. Check out Fleur De Lis Fashions for ideas.. The fleur-de-lis is a great way to add regality to your wedding.

15. Snow Globe theme-
Who doesn't' love snow globes? It's a great idea if you're having a winter wedding, although it can be used during other times of year as well. Snow globes make great centerpieces, and again can be sent home as favors. Look here here for some snowflake themed gift ideas. You can also find various wedding snow globes at The Find. Buy Wedding Favors Online has cute snow globe place card holders here. Snow is elegant and romantic, just make sure to stay warm!

10. Origami theme-
You don't have to have an oriental themed wedding to use origami. It's beautiful and can lend a delicate tone to the wedding without being too girly. If you're up for it, recruit bridesmaids to help fold, otherwise, you can order pretty much anything at Lisashea.com. Create origami crane mobiles to hang above your reception tables, use origami flower boutonnieres, even your centerpieces and place cards can be origami. And don't forget to check out origami cake toppers; they're beautiful!

11. Video game theme-
You must take a peek at this. I must say, I'm impressed with the creativity of some of these video game theme weddings! Most of the weddings I've seen have gone game-specific, but I think you could do one that incorporates many games as well. It's easy to find video game favors. Interested? Check out AMatchMadeInHalo.com for more inspiration.

12. Paint theme-
Are you and your sweetheart interested in the arts? Have fun with a paint themed wedding. Have a finger painting table for the kids (washable of course), and for the adults hire a portrait artist to set up an easel and paint portraits of your guests during the reception. This is a great way to have fun with color as well. You can choose primary colors, or muted pastels. An art gallery would be a fabulous venue for a wedding with this theme, and you could consider paint swatch invitations. Check out a real paint themed wedding at Craftster.org.

More to come next week, so check back!

7. Renaissance theme-
What's more romantic than the Renaissance? The locations you can find for a Renaissance themed wedding are endless, old Gothic churches, vineyards decked out with tents or castles. Although images of men walking around with turkey legs may be going through your mind right now, there is no need to embrace the tradition of eating with your hands. A good caterer will be able to create a Renaissance-style menu that doesn't involve handi-wipes. Have fun with the details: seal your invitations with hot wax, use a quill pen for your guest book, hire a harpist, or have wrought-iron candlesticks.

8. Board Game theme-
I'm actually very impressed at how cool this is. You can use board games as centerpieces. Have family and friends let you use theirs (it's free!). To spice things up replace the dice in all the games with personalized dice from customwedding.com! You can also get personalized playing cards with your picture and send them home with guests as favors! Check out an actual board game themed wedding here. This couple even re-created the covers of well-known board games with their picture - so cute! If you want something more specific, you can even narrow the board game theme to one game in particular. For instance, you can find personalized chocolate poker chips at Beau-coup.com.

9. Coin theme/coin collecting.
If your colors include silver or gold, you can do a lot with coins. Personally, I was thinking a jewelry chest of coins, but you could also go with Vegas, Celtic, or sunken treasure themes. AmericanBridal.com offers personalized chocolate coins that you can spread around your reception tables. You can also have real coins engraved or made into key chains and send them home as favors.

We'll be back with more soon! Post a comment and let us know what your thinking of these and if you have any more suggestions!

Hello Brides!
We're back with a few more interesting theme ideas for you to check out!

4. Concert/Music theme-
If you and your groom-to-be like music, this is the theme for you. There are so many fun directions to take a music theme. I came across some awesome concert tickets that you can customize to be announcements, save the dates or invitations! Check them out at Bliss Wedding Market. I've also seen some really beautiful music oriented wedding cakes. Music notes are fun to decorate with, and there are plenty of places out there to find them. Personalized guitar picks are a fun idea for favors, or you could go to a thrift store and find old instruments to decorate with!

5. Motorcycle Theme-
Into motorcycles? You'll be surprised what you can do with a motorcycle theme. The cake toppers for this theme are awesome. Shop around, because there are plenty of ideas! Consider black and white photography; I've seen some really beautiful pictures done this way. Bike-shaped cookies for the reception are fun, and key chains and lighters make great favors. Another interesting idea is to decorate with road maps highlighting routes that the two of you have been on or want to go on. Plus, riding off into the sunset on a motorcycle is always more interesting than riding off in anything else!

6. Love letter theme-
This sounds girly, but it doesn't necessarily have to be overly feminine. Try decorating with postage stamps. Check out Wedding Love Letters for an interesting spin on love letter wedding favors. You can personalize postage stamps as well at Zazzle. You can also decorate with words. For example, instead of numbering tables, name them "hope," "forever," "passion," "romance" and so on. Stationary is a fun favor; invite your guests to write their own love letter.

More theme ideas coming soon!

Flowers are great, and there's a lot you can do with them. But if you're looking for a little different theme for your wedding, I've compiled a list of some interesting ones for you. If your sweetheart isn't too keen on a calla lily theme, share these ideas with him and see if any spark his interest.

1. Feathers Theme-
Ahh, where to start? There is so much you can do with this theme! The great thing about feathers is they're as varied as flowers, but not quite as overtly feminine. Peacock feathers (a personal favorite of mine) give you a range of colors to work with. I've also seen beautiful bouquets with pheasant feathers, and deep purple flowers. Let your imagination run wild!

2. Candy Shop Theme-
This is a great idea if you like pastel colors. Use those little Valentines Day hearts to decorate. Candy wedding favors are also a great idea. For example, personalize some M&Ms; you can pick your colors and whatever message you want. Candy centerpieces are also fun, and you can send them home with guests as favors as well. Still want to incorporate those flowers? Get candy roses!

3. Chocolate Theme-
I love this theme. Brown is an often overlooked color in the wedding world, but it can be very elegant! Pair it with accent colors like sage green, teal blue or pretty peach depending on your season. The reception ideas with a chocolate theme are endless. Have a chocolate fondue pot, chocolate fountain, or personalize a bunch of those dove chocolates and spread them around the table. Personalized chocolate bars are fun wedding favors as well. You can find them at beau-coup.com

Keep checking back because there are more fun theme ideas to come!

Rosanna
Intern
My Wedding Workbook

January 13, 2010 - I know most of you have had your venue picked out for quite some time, but if you're anything like me, the task of picking a venue for the wedding and reception seems daunting. So, the following are some interesting tidbits to think about for those of you that are struggling to pick a location.

Of course you can choose from hotels, churches, banquet halls, etc. But if you want something a little different there are a lot of places to check out. Choosing a personalized venue can be very romantic. It could even be the place where you first met your fiancée!

Here are some neat ideas:

• Museums and other historic sites
• Ranches, or beautiful old barns
• Bars/lounges and restaurants
• Live theaters
• Public parks
• Libraries
• Amusement parks
• Campgrounds
• Zoos or botanical gardens
• Golf clubs
• College campuses
• Cruise ship
• Ski slopes
• Sports venues
• Old railway stations
• Vineyard/Brewery
• Top of a sky scraper
• Lighthouses
• Orchards
• Aquariums
• Racetracks

Aside from making your wedding unique, there are other advantages to picking an atypical site as well. (1) You will probably have many more dates to choose from. Any ladies who have seen the popular movie Bride Wars know what I'm talking about. Picking a date, and then finding out that some other bride snagged your venue of choice is so not ideal. (2) You may get a better deal. Be careful; a lot of popular venues have packages that seem expensive, but actually include a lot. It's easy to rack up the costs on the little things when you pick a more unusual venue, so take your time and do your research. If you're having a small wedding, chances are you'll save some money, but for larger weddings, package deals may be your best option.

Think you've found the perfect venue? Go over this quick checklist. Can it reasonably accommodate all the people on your guest list? Does it have enough restrooms? Is it kid-friendly (high chairs, safety etc.)? If needed, does it have handicapped facilities? Is there enough parking? Consider out-of town-guests. Is this a venue where they can reasonably stay? Some locations only let you choose vendors from their list. Can you hire your own vendors? Consider your date. Is this a reasonable location during your time of year? Some venues change their rates according to the season. Most importantly, take time for you and your fiancée to visit venues before committing to one.

Have fun planning, and enjoy working together with your fiancée to create the perfect celebration for you both!

January 7, 2010 - My wedding motto: one party at a time. Before you jump head first into ceremony details, remember that most couples these days have an engagement party as well. If you have a very short engagement, you may want to skip the party and just send out announcements, but if you have over 6 months, the party is a good idea and should take place 1-3 months after you get engaged. The engagement party will be your first wedding-related event, and we have some tips that you'll hopefully find helpful. It'll be the first thing you can cross off your wedding checklist!

Engagement parties originated as a way to introduce the bride and grooms' families. Keep this in mind while you're planning. Yes, the party is about you, but try to make it an event where both families will feel comfortable and not completely out of their element. This is especially true if this is the first time your families are meeting. The event can be anything from a formal affair to a backyard pool party. Go with whatever feels the most comfortable.

Traditionally, the brides family hosts, but the couple can host it themselves if they wish. If you're not throwing the engagement party yourself remember to give the host a thank you note. You can include a small thank you gift if you wish.

When sending out invitations, remember that the guest list for the wedding isn't final yet, so only invite people you definitely want at the wedding. Even though you want to shout your engagement announcement off the rooftop, it's safer to have a small party and avoid inviting someone that you wind up not inviting to the wedding. You don't need that kind of drama!

One thing you can be sure of is that every guest, whether there are 15 or 50, is going to take your hand and admire your new ring, so give your hands a little makeover! Get a great manicure -- I suggest a pretty pink polish or French tips! -- and have your ring professionally cleaned. Then show it off and enjoy the compliments!

Engagement party gift etiquette is a delicate art. It is not traditional for guests to bring gifts; however, it is becoming more and more common. Though it's totally fine to register the second you get engaged, including registry information in your engagement party invitations is considered tactless. Having a registry is nice for guests who are set on bringing gifts, but they should only be given registry information upon request. If guests do bring gifts to the party, set them aside and wait until it's over to open them, and don't forget thank you notes!

Typical engagement party gifts include things like house wares. Vases, wine glasses and candlesticks are great, but appliances are better left for wedding gifts. It's also nice to get things you know you'll need for the wedding like champagne flutes or cake knives. wedding planning tools like a bridal magazine subscription are great engagement present ideas. Really helpful guests may even purchase online wedding planning software to make your planning a little easier!

Overall, your engagement party should be filled with excitement and will be a great way to practice planning for the even bigger event coming up! Good luck, and those of you who have additional suggestions/stories, I'd love to here them!

January 6, 2010 - It is an interesting phenomenon that when people learn of you becoming engaged, they instantaneously become compelled to give you a string of marriage advice, most of which is usually irrelevant if not downright rude. Strangers see your engagement ring and just cannot resist the urge to tell you all about their own love story--successful or not! My favorite type of marriage advice though, comes from distant relatives. There's always one wacky aunt who'll keep you on the phone for 4 hours telling you all about the keys to a successful marriage.

Most brides maintain composure, smile, and graciously offer thanks in these situations. But maybe they shouldn't! I get so tired of hearing the bitterly divorced rain all over newly engaged couples' parades. If you have managed to ruin your own marriage, what could possibly possess you to think that you should be giving marriage advice?

Brides don't be afraid to take a stand against these self-appointed wedding help counselors. You wouldn't let them run down your wedding day, so why let them run down your marriage? You don't have to be rude, but there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself either. A snide remark will not help; it's always better to take the high road. Come back with something simple and true like, "thank you for your concern, but I am confident that my husband and I will effectively overcome any challenges we may face in our marriage together. That's why I'm marrying him!"

Let's face it. Some people are just not tactful about some things. Either their marriage didn't work, and they're bitter, or they're jealous of your happiness. Whatever the reason there is no excuse for this kind of behavior. So, if someone offends you, defend yourself and your marriage. This won't be the first time you'll have to stick up for your relationship, and it will be a positive example for you to look back on when you have to shield your marriage from negativity in the future.

Granted, there is a lot of good marriage advice out there, and most people offer it with your best interest at heart. People will advise you on everything from wedding budgets to buying a house if you let them. Unfortunately, the burden of deciphering what's good advice from what's bad lies on you. My word of advice? Be very discerning about whom you take advice from.

January 4, 2010 - As women, most of us have been planning our wedding since we can remember. With or without a wedding planner, we stress about flowers, cake, dresses and numerous other facets of the day. What we sometimes forget though, is that the wedding is stressful for our fiancée as well. Though he may not be fretting about the color of the linens, he's got things on his mind. For instance, before thoughts of photographers and bridesmaids have even entered your brain, he's probably worried about how to go about that talk with your parents, you know, the one about asking them for your hand? I know plenty of women who find the tradition of the groom talking to the bride's parents outdated and insulting, but also numerous others who prefer that he include her parents.

I have a few suggestions that may be helpful in asking the bride's parents for their blessing. (1) Ask for a blessing rather than permission. This tradition is more a show of respect and consideration for their feelings than an actual request for permission to marry their daughter. Women today don't want to feel like property to be requested, but most of us -- unless we are at odds with our parents -- want our future husband and family to have a cordial relationship. Holidays are so much easier when everyone gets along! (2) Include both the bride's mother and father. Again, this denotes respect for both parents. As a general rule, a woman's mother is a very influential person in her life, and men would do well to acknowledge and respect this relationship. Nobody wants a monster-in-law. (3) Talk about it! If you have strong feelings either way, let him know! Whether you drop some subtle hints, or have a detailed discussion about your feelings, any sense of your stance on the issue will be helpful when he begins thinking about talking to your parents. This will also help him to decide whether to talk to your parents before or after his official proposal.

Ladies, take into consideration the courage it takes to approach your parents. Where as we might have help from a wedding planner, our friends or family, he usually handles his planning himself. If he proposes before he talks to your parents and you still want him to speak with them, consider going with him to talk to your parents. Not only will your presence be a bit of comfort for your fiancée, but also your parents will get the opportunity to see you glowing with love and excitement. Though it's not traditional, just seeing you so happy will probably have a profound effect on your parents' decision to grant your union their blessing.

Ultimately, the decision to include your parents is you and your fiancées' choice, but allow me one last suggestion: put yourself in your parents' shoes. Realistically, there is little they can do to keep you from getting married if they don't approve, so there's not much to worry about there. On the flip side, there is nothing as truly gratifying for a parent as seeing your child happy. To feel that your daughter and her fiancee want to include you in their joy must be a wonderful feeling.

December 28, 2010 - Some studies on engagement have shown that up to 40% of all engagements happen between the December holidays and Valentine's Day, and that's no surprise to us here, as we have many newly engaged couples checking out our site in these months. I just planned a wedding last year myself (I got married in November), so here are a few tips for getting started and starting you down the road of becoming an organized wedding planner for your own big day.

Tip #1 - First determine how long you want your engagement to be - This doesn't mean that you have to pick a wedding date right out of the gate. But this decision will actually influence pretty much all other decisions, so try and ballpark how many months you want to be engaged. Some couples have had a lengthy courtship and want to get married sooner, while other couples would prefer a longer leadup to their big day. Every couple is different, so you need to determine what is the right length for you. A couple things that can influence this decision is what time of year you want to get married; how much time you require to plan (some couples like to have a year or so to save up, and sometimes you need to reserve venues at least a year in advance); and how long in advance you need to let people know about your upcoming nuptials (this is especially important for destination weddings or weddings that involve lots of travel for guests).

Tip #2 - Set a wedding budget - Many couples are so excited to start planning that they jump right into deciding on themes and trying on dresses and attire. But the place where you should start has to do with wedding budgets. Believe it or not, most weddings exceed their budget in at least a few areas, with many going out of scope in all areas. And the best way to keep your wedding budget from getting out of control is to first lay out how much you are willing to pay for each area. In your initial budget, include your venues, attire, music, food and drink, travel and transportation, lodging, decorations, flowers and cake. Don't worry too much about being exact at this point; you simply want to set guidelines around what you can afford so that you don't break the bank and start your marriage off in debt.

Tip #3 - Determine how large you want your wedding to be - Some couples are dead set on having a big, blow-out wedding with tons of guests and a large wedding party (the average number of guests at weddings is around 150-175, which sure seems like a lot of people). Others want a smaller, more intimate setting with just family and close friends. This decision is a very personal one and will also affect how you plan, so you both need to agree upfront as to how elaborate and how many people you want at your wedding.

Tip #4 - Divvy up wedding planning duties - In bride/groom couples, in the past the bride was often the one who assumed the role of the wedding event planner. But now, grooms are getting in on the act and helping out, so before you dive in you should both determine who is responsible for planning and organizing what duties. This helps lay the groundwork so that one person doesn't end up getting stuck planning everything.

Tip #5 - Start sketching out your guest list - The one factor that will influence cost (and that often sends budgets into the stratosphere) is the size of the guest list. So after you have settled on a length of engagement and a budget, start putting together a draft guest list. Just sit down with your fiance/fiancee and spend an hour or two writing down who you would like to invite (this may also include people that your parents might want to have attend, also, so make sure you include a count of these guests for your initial estimate). Once you have a ballpark number, you can match this against the desired size of your wedding to determine if you need to start shaving it down already or if you can work with this. And remember that rule of thumb says that up to 20% of your invited guests won't attend, so hopefully this lets you plan accordingly.

Tip #6 - Start using our free wedding software - Once you've done all this, you can start putting My Wedding Workbook to work for you in organizing all your details.

December 17, 2009 - Most brides seem to enjoy the shopping for a wedding dress and having that "eureka" moment when they find the right dress. However, according to a recent article in the New York Times, there's a trend among some brides who buy multiple wedding dresses in their search for the right dress ... and we're not talking cheap dresses (some of them in the thousands of dollars).

I'm not sure what this says about our culture or the people who buy multiple wedding dresses, but there are definitely two sides to this argument. On the one hand, why buy multiple dresses (and expensive ones at that) when you can always shop and compare and when you will only be wearing the dress for 1 day of your life? On the other hand, even though you only wear the dress for 1 day, the photos taken on that day and the memories made on that day will be with you your entire life, so you certainly should really like and enjoy what you wore on your wedding day. In the end, it really comes down to your priorities and what makes you happy, and I guess if you want to buy 5 dresses before you choose one of them and then sell off the rest, that that's your God-given right and it's your money.

In another wedding planning tidbit from the New York Times was an article on how Pittsburgh brides and grooms go whole hog on providing impressive tables of cookies for their weddings. I've been to a Pittsburgh wedding or two, and I can attest that the cookie spreads are very impressive and full of fantastic cookies made from handed-down recipes from many of the residents European forebears. Any Pittsburgh wedding planner is probably used to arranging for a cookie table, and I think this is a great regional tradition. However, I also discovered at those western PA weddings that the Electric Slide is also a huge Pittsburgh wedding tradition (which probably makes many wedding planners blanch). All great fun, and very interesting how certain areas of the country have their own wedding traditions (like the groom's cake in the South).

And on we go...

Six bridesmaids a crafting
If you want handmade wedding invitations, wedding favors or centerpieces, a great way to recruit some cheap labor to help you in your efforts is to turn your bridal shower or bridesmaids' luncheon into a craft hour. This isn't to say that you should make the entire event about creating stuff for your wedding, but it could serve as a fun activity between opening gifts and eating/drinking.

Five vans a hauling guests
I was at a wedding this summer (in sweltering, late-June St. Louis where the heat index was a whopping 110 degrees) where the bride and groom rented large people-mover vans to transport their wedding guests in lovely air-conditioned vehicles from the hotel to the ceremony to the reception and back to the hotel. This was a great idea, first because it was sweltering and it was nice to step into a very cool vehicle, second because many of us were from out of town and didn't exactly know how to get around, and third because most of us had been drinking.

Four babysitters a sitting
Hiring a sitting service for all the babies and toddlers in the crowd can be a big plus, especially at the reception so that many guests don't have to hire sitters for the entire afternoon and evening and so they don't have to leave so early.

Three charities a thanking
A nice thought is to give guests the opportunity to donate to a charity of your choice as part of their wedding gift to you. My wife and I are big animal lovers (we have two chocolate labs) and we chose a few shelters and dog rescue outfits.

Two people a wedding planning
Brides aren't the only people who are good and able wedding planners. Grooms can and should contribute in their own ways (helping in the venue selections, drink and food selections, guest list formulation), and brides should let their guys know that they want them to help out (even if it's stuffing invitation envelopes ... remember, we're usually pretty good at the manual labor stuff).

One big day a coming-sooner-than-you-think
Most people put their wedding days a ways out, but it always gets here sooner than you think, and take my word that the day itself goes by in a blur. So take time to enjoy the process of planning a wedding and in sharing the experience with your spouse-to-be.

We just released an article outlining our research of top wedding trends of 2009 ... you can check it out here: article on 2009 top wedding trends

It's that time of year, so let's count down the days to Xmas with some wedding planning tips as a substitute for the traditional 12 gifts. We will cover days 12-7 today.

Twelve iPod playlists a playing
The iPod playlist is becoming a viable alternative to DJs and bands, and for two good reasons. 1) You can play exactly what you want, when you want to play it. 2) It's considerably cheaper than paying for a DJ or band. Now, it's not a substitute for a great DJ or a band that knows the crowd, but we used it at our wedding and it worked out great. Simply create a bunch of different playlists so if the mood of the party changes you're prepared to play something different, and make sure to put a trusted friend in charge (one what won't sneak in "Freebird" as the evening winds on).

Eleven guests a surfing ... on wedding websites
Wedding websites are great ways to communicate with your guests as well as to post information such as links to registry sites, links to venues, driving directions and the like. There's lots of online sites where you can register and create wedding websites, so look around.

Ten gifts a wrapped to conserve the environment
Tons of waste is created every year from boxes, gift wrapping and other wedding-related activities, so a good way to cut down on the waste is to ask guests to wrap gifts in newspaper or even to give gift cards that you can then use to buy things on your registry.

Nine centerpieces a recycled
Many wedding centerpieces get tossed away or sit in your basement for years after the wedding, so why not get some extra cash for them by selling them on one of the many wedding exchange/auction sites cropping up. This way you get some money for your honeymoon and someone else gets to use them.

Eight wedding planners a being interviewed
If you're looking for a wedding planner, first ask around for recommendations from friends, as you will probably get the best feedback and opinions here. Then ask wedding vendors in your community which planners they would recommend (you will also get pretty unbiased replies here). And once you have found a handful of highly recommended wedding planners, interview them each to find the one that fits your style and budget.

Seven family members and friends a helping
If you're a DIY bride and aren't hiring a wedding planner, then you're going to need some help on your wedding day. Most friends and family members are usually flattered when you ask them for help, but you should make sure to pick ones that will follow through. You can have these volunteers help corrall people during the transition from ceremony venue to the reception. They can pass out programs, get to the reception venue in advance to make sure everything is set up and prepared, assist the photographer or videographer with whatever they might need, run the iPod (see above), keep things running on time during the cake cutting and toast portion of the night ... and on and on. Just make sure you don't take on too much, because your job is to be the married couple, and that's plenty.

Days 6-1 will come in our next entry ... take care until then,
Jeff

Before I dive into describing what online wedding software is, let me first talk about this animal called "online software" and what that really means.

When people think of software, they usually envision a product they buy in a box at a computer, electronics or department store (think Best Buy, Target and the like), which they then take home and then use a CD-ROM or DVD to install the software on their computer. Every once in a while, the program prompts them to download or install updates, and sometimes the program will even alert them to a new version that will require them to spend more money (think Microsoft Office, Quickbooks, etc.).

In the last decade, it's become common to buy software online directly from the manufacturer, so there's no need for packaging or a CD-ROM/DVD. Just put the software in your shopping cart, pay for it and you are directed to a page (or you are emailed a link) where you can click on a button and download the software directly to your computer via the Internet. Once it's downloaded, you simply open up the installer and, presto, the software is on your computer.

But in the last few years, online software has become more and more popular, but there's still lots of confusion as to what it actually is, what it does and where it exists. So here goes with an explanation to all this...

Online software is also commonly called software as a service (SaaS), which is probably a better and more apt description of it. Essentially, instead of loading software onto your local computer, the software is permanently housed on the manufacturer's computer (usually it's stored on a server, which is essentially a big computer with lots of memory and firewall protection to keep the Internet thugs out). To access the software, you simply open up your Web browser (think Firefox, Internet Explorer, Safari, etc.), go to the manufacturer's Web site, log into your account, and, presto, you have access to the software. Some online software is free (like My Wedding Workbook) and other software is not so free (like Apple's MobileMe, Zoho, Quickbooks Online, etc.). You could even argue that a site like Facebook is free online software because, once you log into your account, you have access to all sorts of tools that function like software.

So where does online wedding software fall? Well, here at My Wedding Workbook, we are very much like the paragraph above. You register on our site to create your account, and once you have done this, you can go to our site via a Web browser, log into your account and start using our software (which exists on our secure servers). That's pretty straightforward.

But here's where people often ask "But where is all my information stored?" which is a very good question. When you enter details into your account (like the measurements of your wedding dress or your tuxedo) this information is stored in a database (sort of like a big Excel spreadsheet with many, many fields for storing each piece of data) which also resides on our server. At My Wedding Workbook, our software code and our database both sit on a secures server with lots of security and firewalls and lots of backup to make sure no data is lost or stolen. And every detail you save on your account is completely confidential, so you never, ever have to worry about us contacting people on your guest list (and if you want to access your information, you can always download all of it into Excel spreadsheets).

In our humble opinions (and we have many of them), online wedding software like ours takes the headache out of managing your wedding details, first of all because you never have to manage wedding software on your computer, and second because all your details are stored safely on our server and you never have to worry about losing data due to your computer crashing or to theft, fire or accidental deletion. Plus, we built our wedding software so it's very easy to use and requires really no learning time ... just log in and go.

So hopefully that helps give some background on just what online wedding software is and how it works. But if you want more info, don't hesitate to drop us a note by using the contact form on the site.

Take care, and happy planning, Jeff